bee stings & not yet

The words buzzed around my mouth like honey bees. I wanted so badly to let them spill out, leaving their sting upon this person I loved so much. They deserved the swarm, didn't they? They had just stung me and need a taste of their own medicine.

I can just say it now. I need to say it now. Sure I've been praying for self-control, but that will come later. Right now I need to say these things.

I resonate all too strongly with the prayer of St. Augustine: “grant me chastity & continence, but not yet.” Grant me self-control with my finances, but not yet. Grant me patience on the road, but not yet. Grant me kindness toward my co-worker, but not yet.

Oh Lord, I want godliness and goodness and faithfulness... but not yet.

The lure of what satisfying my impulses could give pulls me in, even though your word promises me life in your ways.

"For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." Galatians 6:8

Oh Father, let us remember that you are not holding out on us. You offer us a good and beautiful life in your ways. May we learn that your ways truly lead to life and our flesh leads to destruction. Amen.



image: source