suffering & holiness

to be real, i want the harvest but i don’t want the work that must go in before. i want to be more like jesus but when i see how intricately intertwined suffering & holiness are i rethink things. 

i want to be changed but i don’t always want the change. i want new life without death but they are not mutually exclusive. 

jesus said if we want life we must die. if we want to live in the new life that christ has given us through his life, death, & resurrection then we must be willing to put to death the things of our flesh. we must be willing to call sin what it is and repent. 

i’ve been praying for humility & right after i pray i always want to give some conditions---you can do this work out humility in me but please, whatever you do, don't do this. i must learn the way of humility which is the way of submitting to whatever means the lord uses to sanctify me. more & more i see that if i actually want to be more like christ i have to be open to the work. i have to entrust myself to the one who will not only do this sanctifying work in me but who also walks with me in it & does not leave me. it is actually in this death that i find him sweeter & experience deeper nearness. & i know that this marriage of suffering & glory are best seen in his very life, for he has gone before us & walks with us still.