jesus is smiling at you

 

The morning sun was slowly rising as the birds happily went along their way and the summer heat was met with a dance from a relieving breeze. I sat outside in the loveliness of it all feeling the unloveliness that can be found within my own self. A prompt from the Holy Spirit to discern who in my heart I hated found me embarrassed, mostly because names came too quickly to mind.  

Hatred feels like a strong word, one I wouldn’t want to use to characterize how I feel about someone. Hatred seems like a word one might use for the worst of the worst, those society would unanimously agree are evil. Hatred seems like a word one might use for someone who deeply offended you, purposefully hurt you. A word one might only use if they felt very justified in their hatred of the person. 

There was a resistance within me to acknowledge hatred of others. Couldn’t I just say I didn’t click with them or they rubbed me the wrong way? But I sensed the Spirit saying, “Who do you withhold your smile from? This is who you hate.”

Who do you withhold your smile from? 

Who do you not engage with, wishing they would go away or stop talking? Who do you dread to see walk into the room? Who do you refuse to laugh with? Refuse to delight in? Who do you attempt to subtly (or not so subtly) belittle or disregard? Whose opinions or feelings do you automatically discount without hearing? Who do you withhold respect and dignity? 

Who do you withhold your smile from?

Throughout the whole book of First John there is this theme of light and darkness. God is said to be light, those who do not walk with God are said to be in darkness. And there is this passage about what hatred for our brothers and sisters on this earth does to us. The author says that those who do not love their fellow beings are in darkness and they are blind because their hatred darkens their sight and heart. 

Hatred of someone else causes me not to see them. I don’t really see them for who they are, but instead who I want them to be, what they have done to me, what they have not done for me, or the things I define as deficiencies and see in them. My eyes are blind to the person in front of me, busy fumbling around in the darkness of unmet expectations and bitterness and annoyance. I do not really see them.

Who do you withhold your smile from?

When I imagine Jesus I don’t see a face with a smile withheld. I don’t see a face that is annoyed or grumpy. I don’t see someone distracted, trying to move on, wanting to get to the next person. When I see Jesus his face is smiling, beaming with delight, and that delight is for me, for us. 

Jesus is smiling at you. There is no hatred in his heart toward you. And as I seek to be like this man who moved slowly through this world, giving space and time to really see those around him, I know can’t withhold my smile either. 

Father, I pray I will look and find your smile and in finding your smile we can both turn toward those in my life and smile full of delight and love at them.