in the garden

 

I often find myself wanting things to be as beautiful and lovely and comfortable as possible. My home, my relationships, my thoughts. This, of course, can be a good thing but for me I often seek these things at the expense of any real growth. If for a moment it seems that I will have to acknoweledge something unlovely or be a little uncomfortable in order to address an issue or move forward I balk. I don't want it. Rather to stay ignorant and in denial but in comfort than to have to see myself and others for what we are.

But I have to ask myself: what would happen if I let myself do that? If I let myself acknowledge that all of life is not as grand as I want it to be? If I made myself sit in the uncomfortable and the honest? The truth is I wouldn't shrivel up and die (although my mind might try to object to that). 

Maybe this could move me toward something else, something better. Maybe this could move me toward growth, even flourishing. 

If a plant refused to be pruned it would eventually die. No new growth would be able to come through. 

If I refuse to first acknowledge my problem with impatience no growth can occur. Once acknowledged I have to let the Lord do his work, his pruning, his redemptive growth. By him I become more patient.

In Alcoholics Anonymous they acknowledge their problem and their utter helplessness to fix it. They acknowledge their problem and that God is the only hope they have for change. 

Acknowledging our problems and our helplessness sounds unlovely. It's uncomfortable. But it is the way that can lead to true beauty, loveliness, and peace. Not one in denial, refusing to see reality. One that can hold the reality of sin with also the goodness of God in this world. 

May we be brave enough to acknowledge and brave enough to let God work.